Everything you wanted to know about young adults and cancer. But were afraid to ask.

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Top Ten Signs You’ve Joined a Cheap HMO(0)

December 14, 2009

10. Annual breast exams are conducted at Hooters.
9.  Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
8.  Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7.  The colon specialist is only available on his days off from Roto-Rooter.
6.  Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is “An apple a day.”
5.  The used [...]

Top Ten Things Guys with Testicular Cancer Have to be Thankful For

Direct from the Testicular Cancer Resource Center Home Office in San Antonio
10. Showing our scars can have ulterior benefits.
9.  Protective radiation “cup” doubles as a decorative soap holder.
8.  One less organ to worry about having to donate.
7.  Discounts on Lance Armstrong-autographed “modified” sportswear.
6.  Regular check-ups include precautionary prostate checks, too.
5.  Holiday performances of the “Nutcracker” [...]

Top Ten Ways to Get “Hunkered Down” Patients Out of the Hospital

Reprinted courtesy of the Placebo Journal, “The only medical journal that will make you laugh.” (www.placebojournal.com)
10. Cut off all power to the room and pump in loud rock music (sort of like we did with General Noriega).
9.  Three letters – ECT.
8.  Low calorie, soft mechanical, low salt, low fat, low sugar, low taste, and pureed [...]

Top Ten (plus 2!) Best Responses to Enduring a Colonoscopy

We had to add the extra two, because these are true stories from an unnamed gastroenterologist, who swears these comments were actually made by patients while he was performing colonoscopies.
12. Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.
11. Find Amelia Earhart yet?
10. Can you hear me NOW?
9.  Could you write [...]


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