10. I'm trying out for the lead in the Broadway version of the movie Powder.

9.  For testicular patients getting a prosthesis: Do these come in brass?

8.  All this radiation, and I don't glow in the dark yet? What a rip-off!

7.  It's 11:00 a.m. and so far I've been stabbed, felt-up, and drugged. How's your day going, doc?

6.  Does this port make me look fat?

5.  I got cancer, but I think it's broke and I want to return it.

4.  My other tracksuit is in the wash.

3.  Just call me Dandelion-head. Make a wish and blow.

2.  Eyebrows are so last season.

1.  Okay, guess which breast is the real one!