We had to add the extra two, because these are true stories from an unnamed gastroenterologist, who swears these comments were actually made by patients while he was performing colonoscopies.

12. Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before.

11. Find Amelia Earhart yet?

10. Can you hear me NOW?

9.  Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?

8.  You know, in some states, we're now legally married.

7.  Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?

6.  You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey....

5.  Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!

4.  If your hand doesn't fit, you must a quit!

3.  Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.

2.  You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?

1.  Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?