10. Time off work with no lies and no guilt

9.  Men in white coats are groping your breasts and....you're okay with that

8.  The ex is sweet to you

7.  Lose 10 pounds overnight without giving up wine & queso

6.  Your new boobs will face the horizon, not the South Pole

5.  Bonus: The new models will be paid for by insurance

4.  You become a noxiously rapid advocate for mammograms

3.  Halter tops are a fashion option for the first time since 1972

2.  You get all the good stuff---letters, emails, books, flowers, cookies, stuffed animals, casseroles, offers to take care of the kids, calls from people you hadn't heard from since before you had breasts----all without having to die

1.  You realize how many wonderful people there are in the world and feel so blessed to know them