10. Other than that, how's it going?

9. This isn't going to affect my career, is it?

8. I guess there's no need to quit smoking now.

7. There are easier ways to build character, you know.

6. Oh, my aunt/cousin/grandfather died of that same cancer!

5. Be sure to wear clean underwear.

4. Just think of all the money you'll save on shampoo.

3. Cancer...is that before or after Aquarius?

2. Yeah, right, whatever.

1. It's always about you, isn't it?